In all seriousness if I didn't have such a good sense of humor I wouldn't have survived this long. No, I will NOT tell you how long that is
. Besides, how can you follow a critter that is covered in blue dots, wearing 4 or 5 bizarrely neon-colored $300 collars and a smell of whatever died along the way and got rolled on through mud and thorn bushes and darkest night in the hopes of maybe hearing something like a Swiss yodeler being strangled slowly and a glimpse of eyeballs in a tree and do it all over again the next night and not admit you have a sense of humor?